What to do...

What to do.. What to do...

That's always running through my head like a broken record.

And when it comes time to stop and think about what I am going to do about the whole "college" thing, my head wants to explode. I hate it. I really do. Why couldn't I have been one of those stupid rich kids who had their parents pay for their college tuition or at least half... pfft. Guess what I got from my parents? NOTHING! But what good will it do me to dwell on all that crap? nothing. If anything it'll make me sick. So here I am again trying to sort out what I'm gonna do for school. CalARTS=impossible to get in, unless your like amazing (not me) or Art Center- Not really interested in. or the newest addition to the college blues - UCLA. I was told they have a pretty cool animation dept. I don't know but I'm going to go down and investigate. The big plus to going to UCLA is that it's a California State university, which means much much better financial aid, AND much cheaper than the other two. Cause let's face it, even IF I did get in... IFFFFF I get in, HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO PAY FOR THAT SCHOOL!?!?!? Which really upsets me. but you know what I really shouldn't give up just yet. I haven't even gone into CalARTS to talk numbers, which I really should do. but it still doesn't look very good for me... I just know it. Sometimes I wish I had a different talent OTHER than drawing.. Too damn expensive of a career to pursue. So for now, I have been told to get the "gen ed" out of the way cause with that being done, it makes the other schools a little cheaper cause you don't have to take their gen ed crap. UGHHH. this is all incredibly depressing for me.